I'm currently sitting in the third day of layoff hearing that are trying to decide the validity of the district layoffs. This won't really decide anything for me, but is hopefully going to be helpful for some groups of people who do essential work but whose positions have been eliminated. I still have to wait until May 15th to discover my fate, but hopefully it will be favorable :)
With all this 'free' time on my hands (while my poor students are stuck with a 3 day sub) I thought it would be an excellent day to update my blog, especially since today has the potential of being important.
Today, I will be getting a steroid shot, in a last ditch effort to diagnose/help my leg.
(Warning, the rest of this post is a somewhat corny extended metaphor. I blame it on 3 days with no kids to keep me tethered to reality! And, I had fun making this connection)
Now, I've been reflecting on all the various treatments/tests I've undergone over the past year and a half: PT for my back, Steroid pills, X-Ray, Chiropracter, Acupuncture, MRI, Ultrasound, PT for my leg, Yoga/Pilates, and an EMG. This cycle of hopefulness, optimism, and ultimately disappointment remind of of another kind of experience that I luckily haven't had to deal with over this same past year: Dating.
Hearing about a new treatment/test is like being single and hearing about a potential nice guy. He sounds great, sounds like he has a lot of potential, and I feel excited about making a 'date' with him.
Going for the test is the first date. I'm excited and optimistic, with just a hint of trepidation. What if he doesn't like me? (i.e., what if it doesn't work?) What if its a boring/painful date? (i.e. the test hurts). Sometimes the 'guy' seems to hold promise. Sometimes, one date is all it takes for me to know that we won't be going out again. (MRI, X-Ray , Ultrasound, and EMG were all first dates gone badly).
Sometimes the guy makes it through that first date. PT, Chiropracter, Steroids, and Yoga/Pilates seemed to all have potential. Just like with dating, I starting thinking about the future 'we' might have together- how they could positively benefit my life (get me running again). I would go on a few more dates, evaluating whether or not they are a good fit.
Steroids, lasting only a week, didn't make it to the relationship faze. It was something with a lot of potential that just fizzled out.
PT, the Chiropractor, and Yoga/Pilates became relationships. We 'went out' once a week for months. It was like dating that guy that seems good on paper, has every intention of being a good fit for me, but, for whatever reason, just doesn't work out. Neither of us wants to admit it, to be the first one to end it, but it has to be done.
Sometimes, like with PT, we are given a convenient out (my insurance ran out).
Sometimes, I just leave- I moved and took that as the sign to stop seeing the Chiropracter, though we both knew it was ending.
And sometimes, like with Yoga and Pilates, we've decided to just be friends. We still see each other, though not as often as I would like, but know that it's nothing serious.
In fact, I have been in a medical dating dry spell, never meeting that special someone.
And, again, I'm jumping back on the horse, going out for another date with a potential special someone - the Steroid Shot.
Now, I've heard both good and bad about this 'guy'. I've heard he can make you feel like a million bucks, like you can do anything again, but I've also heard he can leave you hurting and feeling like it was worthless.
So, I'm taking on this date with a good deal of trepidation. Sure, I'm dreaming about my future with him -that maybe he'll get me to where I keep dreaming: running on trails, being active again, getting back that self confidence- but I'm trying to be conservative with those wishes.
So wish me luck into the messy world of medical dating, and keep your fingers crossed that this will result in some kind of effect (hopefully positive) to my leg!