So much time has passed since my leg first started bothering me (September 16th!). Since then, so many race plans have come and gone.
Finally, I'm at the point (well, I guess I reached this point a month or so ago) where I wholly gave up on even attempting part of American River, the last race I wishfully signed up for, hoping for the best. I've wanted to do that race since I learned about ultras and had been looking forward to it so much. But, it just isn't meant to be this year.
The great thing about races is that the calendar for them is cyclical. Didn't get to run Pirates Cove this year? It'll be here next year too. No AR50? Just wait twelve months.
AR50 was the last race on my calendar, my last hope that I'd be all good to go by this point. But, now its gone. This actually ends up to be a sort of serendipitous thing, as my career's (happy Bob?) district job fair, where I pick the school I want to work at, is the same day, so it's actually a really good thing I can't run AR50.
And now I'm free. No more pressure to run far, to rack up miles. You know, I don't think I had ever just run a mile, since I started running in college. I always had the policy, if you can't do 3, it's not worth it. But guess what, yesterday I ran just over a mile around the track at sunset, looking over the windy ocean waters with an almost full moon above my head, and it was really nice.
If I can just run a mile or two every day, I still get to be a runner. I won't be building up to any ultras at that pace, but I'm young. Eventually my leg will stop sucking. Eventually the doctors will figure out why its sucking and how to make it better. But for right now I just need to place it nice and easy. No more pressure to be that girl who runs the crazy distances. I'll get to be that again some day, but for now I'm happy to be a girl who runs (even if its just around the block). Today Ed and I just explored a trail I had seen off the side of a road, and came out of a forest onto a wide open expanse of green grass, framed by a surprising and beautiful panoramic view of the ocean in the distance. Things like that are really why I run, and I don't plan to let those go.
Ed and I take off tomorrow to visit his mom and a small bit of his extended family down in Cambria, which should be a lovely way to spend Easter weekend (especially since my older sister and her fiance are going to meet us for lunch Sunday!). Spring Break is finally here, and I get a breather from my program to recharge.
Enjoy your weekend everyone!
(By the way, I've just passed my first blog-anniversary. I made my first post on March 16th 2007, after I had gotten into the UCSC Graduate program and learned I was really going to become a teacher :) It's been a great year! Thanks so much everyone for carrying about my silly little posts and offering your amazing support, ideas, and comments. I've really enjoyed this blog and hope to be able to post many great adventures on it sometime soon!)