(San Pablo Reservoir)
Well, after that run, I feel like I'm out of shape. As we all started getting out of the cars and I got a good look at the people I would be running with, I knew I was way out of my league. Everyone just looked like runner, the super long legs, thin, tall, the whole nine yards. I should have known that they were fast when they planned to start at 6:30, finish at 7:30 and run 7.5 miles. No way that I'm getting 7.5 miles in an hour on a flat road, much less a trail.So, off we went. I immediately got past by most all the runners, including one running with a very cute dog that was just flying! Luckily, one guy, Steve (gosh, I'm not sure if that was his name!) was around my pace (though a bit faster if I'm being honest, unless he was hurting more than he let on) and I stuck with him for the whole run. Its always much nicer to chat with someone during the run and I love getting to know new runners. We actually did the same marathon last june (San Diego RNR) and finished probably within minutes of each other! (He cramped badly and ended an hour off his time...I'm just slow :) ).
Anyways, we probably did something around 6 miles and my legs were definitely burning for a lot of it. Times like these I feel like I'm just pretending to be a runner. I feel embarrased to say that I'm training for a 50k when 6 miles is hard. It feels like a lie somehow to say that I run 40+ miles a week and can do 18 miles at once without feaking out too much about it.
Sometimes I feel like a runner and sometimes I don't. Tonight on the run I really didn't.
The good thing was that everyone that I met was so nice. I got to meet Sarah, who found my blog earlier this week, and we talked a lot about her membership in the Luna Chix running group and her cycling. One of the runners had anyone who wanted back to his house for a delicious soup dinner prepared by his wife (I think?). Anyways, it was so nice to sit around a big table with 14 or so other runners just talking and relaxing. I'll just make Wednesdays my speed days and hope to get faster eventually :)
If I just keep running someday I'll look like a runner and be able to always feel with confidence that I am one.
I think I might go for 8 tomorrow since today's run was shorter than I would have liked. We'll see!
4 comments:
That’s crazy talk! It’s easy to get frustrated when you can't keep up, but you can't compare yourself to other runners. You ARE a runner, not just some of the time, all of the time. Most people wouldn’t even dream of going out on a week night and running a mile around the block let alone run 40 miles a week. I bet you remember the first time you went out and ran 5 miles (I know I do.) You were probably so proud of yourself, and know you do that plus more regularly. It's easy to forget how far you have come in your training. I think you’re doing awesome, and you’ll be more than ready for your 50k, you’re probably a lot closer than you think!
Addy, you rock as a runner, and don't ever think otherwise! Just look at your marathon accomplishments! Look at your crazy training schedule. You are hardcore. We all have different goals and strengths as runners, but running unites us all. And as my tall friend never lets me forget--height is not an advantage in running, so don't let those lanky folks intimidate you. I'm glad you found someone to run with. I was running alone the whole run, which was slightly depressing, but also meditative. I kind of enjoy running alone on narrow single track, and the out and back nature of the run made sure I saw folks constantly. So glad we made it to Jonathan and Kathryn's house after too. see you soon. cheers, Sarah
Addy, it sounds like it was a good experience for you. As Josh says, though, you ARE a runner! Just look around at the millions of Americans who DON'T get off the couch and get out there.
Just because you can't keep up with the front runners in a pack doesn't mean that you're not a runner. Just look around at the other running forums on SP and you'll see that you're already hard-core with your training schedule compared to other runners who maybe run 3 or 4 miles on the flat road 3 times a week.
Don't put yourself down. You'll improve with time.
--Terry
Thanks guys :) Just having a weird emotion day and my running identity got a little fuzzy!
Josh- Thank you so much. That was really exactly what I needed to hear. Its hard to feel like I'm capable of distance when 6 miles is hard, but its all about pace. It is really cool to look back and see how far I've come in the last few years
Sarah- Running alone can be very meditative, if a bit lonely. It was nice to be able to see so many people because of the nature of the run. The soup get together was so nice! Its so cool to be included in such a great community :)
Terry- thanks for the reassurance. I know I'll improve, and that I have improved a lot since I started. I just get so bogged down worrying about what others think (i.e. not thinking I'm really a 'runner') that I lose track of what I think of myself
Thanks again guys. I'm feeling much more like a runner today :)
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